


Not Dating

by luoup (ravenic)



Series: Team the Best Team [Platonic VLD Week 2.0] [14]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Gen, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-24 10:55:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15629238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenic/pseuds/luoup
Summary: Day 7 Prompt 2: Free Tropes DayThe platonic trope of not-dating





	Not Dating

**Author's Note:**

> i generally hate the you’re-friends-so-are-you-dating kind of thing. but i decided that for the “tropes” prompt of Platonic VLD Week, i would write something about the platonic trope of not-dating, aka “people think they’re dating but they’re seriously just friends.” with aliens. and the aliens think everyone is dating everyone. 
> 
> good heck this was not supposed to be a worldbuilding explosion. i have never done such scrambly making-up of an entire species. it was kind of fun. 
> 
> i really truly don’t actively ship anything in voltron. i am also not really against any ship. there are some that i’m more okay with/into and some that i am less a fan of/avoid, but generally i don’t actually care and much prefer all-around platonic relationships. this is not meant in support or offense of any ship – i just wanted to write them all as really being just friends and amused by misperceptions.

The inhabitants of the planet Chazila were, according to Lance, basically birds.  They were smallish, most not quite as tall as Keith, with brightly-colored feathers and elaborate crests.  Claw-like hands and smallish shiny eyes completed the image.  They were definitely basically birds. 

Birds they may be, but the Chaziliai also had the best spaceships in this galaxy, and ranked highly against any others.  To make it even better, they had not been taken over by the Galra Empire and still stood independent.  The Voltron Alliance was in sore need of such ships, so the Castle of Lions was making a visit in person (in alien?) to establish diplomatic ties and, hopefully, gain a new ally. 

There were many meetings, as to be expected, but the Paladins also had some time to explore the new land.  They were currently getting a tour of the major Chaziliai city Krafilina, courtesy of one of the many court attendants, a young green-and-yellow-feathered queen named Leyli.  She looked a bit like a very fluffy, very well-decorated velociraptor, with a bright chirpy voice and white-painted claws on her fine four-fingered hands.  She had the energy of Lance on four cups of space coffee, but was quite friendly and knowledgeable about her city, planet, species, and history.  The Paladins couldn’t help but like her. 

“And this is the Mest, where we have our bonding ceremonies!” Leyli gestured grandly with one hand, nearly clipping Hunk on the arm.  “They are the most important days of our lives, the days we form our flocks and become more connected to one another!  Every Chazilii dreams of their bonding ceremonies, and it is always a grand occasion!”

The building certainly seemed to reflect that.  It was large and painted in bright colors like Chazililai feathers, with many windows of clear or colored glass.  Although no ceremonies seemed to be happening at the moment, there were still a number of queens and tiers and pers going in and out, giving the place an active, living feeling. 

“So kinda like a church?  Like for weddings?” Lance asked, tilting his head back to better see the top of the Mest.  It looked like the roof was made of mirrors instead of shingles. 

“Maybe,” Hunk said.  “Dunno if it’s religious, but bonding ceremonies sounds like it could be similar.”

Leyli bounced on her long thin feet.  “Oh, but you all must have had an absolutely _amazing_ bonding ceremony!  I mean, Voltron itself, connected on so many levels, it must have been tremendous!”

Shiro choked, tripping on something and nearly falling on his face before being caught by Allura.  “I’m sorry, _what?_ ”

“We’re not – we’re not _married!”_ exclaimed Allura at the same time, cheeks turning red. 

Leyli’s crest immediately wilted.  “You’re not all bonded?”  Then it bounced back up a bit.  “Wait, let me guess!  Blue, Red, Yellow, and Green are together?  The Body of Voltron must be a strong connection, I’m sure.”

“Uh… no,” Pidge answered, blinking rapidly behind her glasses.  “I mean, sure, we have a bond, but we’re not – _bonded.”_

Leyli thought hard, tapping her claws together.  “Then… sides?  Red with Blue, and Green with Yellow?”

Lance and Keith leapt away from each other with matching noises of disgust.  Pidge and Hunk were both shaking their heads, although Hunk was mumbling considerately, “I mean, we _are_ the geniuses of Voltron, but it’s not like it’s a romantic connection…”

“No?” Leyli tilted her head, considering.  “I understand that Yellow, Blue, and Green have history together; the Garlisun tria?  And Red and Black, they have known each other long before Voltron, have they not?”

“We were just on the same team,” Pidge said, talking over Shiro as the leader mumbled into his hands, “not like that…”

“Or maybe… Yellow with Red and Blue with Green, cross-body!”

“No way,” Pidge said in mock irritation as Lance pretended to die of offense.  Keith just looked lost, and Hunk patted his back reassuringly. 

Leyli was counting rapidly on her fingers, trying to find more patterns.  “Ooh, or Princess and Black, Green and Red, and Blue and Yellow – leaders, Arms, and Legs.”

Shiro and Allura sputtered more.  Pidge and Keith glanced at each other with identical shrugs.  Lance burst out laughing, although Hunk tried to restrain himself. 

The Chazilii was looking like she was running out of options.  “Then… Black, Blue, Red, and Yellow, and Green with the Princess?  Divided by your species’ genders?  Or perhaps Yellow with Black and Princess and Green with Red and Blue, organized by size?”

Allura was protesting with no order to her jumbled sentences, while beside her Shiro had given up entirely and was just standing there with both hands over his very red face.  The Body Paladins were all in varying degrees of disagreement and/or amusement.  It was a small amount of chaos, and certainly garnered more than a few side glances from passing Chazililai. 

Finally, Shiro managed to gather himself.  He took a deep breath and dropped his hands, turning to fully face Leyli.  “I’m sorry, but none of us are in romantic relationships with any of the others.”

“None?”  Leyli’s head tilted one way, then the other. 

“None.”

She blinked a few times, third eyelid flicking rapidly back and forth across her small dark eyes.  Then they widened.  “Oh.  Oh my.  I am _so sorry._   Oh, Rouvi is always telling me I put our own culture on other species too much, and here I am, doing it again!  I shouldn’t assume that your species has the same structure, or that our culture applies to yours!  I’m so sorry, Paladins, I apologize greatly!”

Allura cut her off before the poor queen could get herself into any more of a frenzy.  “That’s alright, we understand.  The universe is a big place, and there are so many different ways to live, none of them necessarily any better or worse than others.  I still struggle often with my own perceptions, and you wouldn’t believe the different cultures I encountered traveling with my father.”  She dropped her voice conspiratorially.  “I still think the Humans’ ears are strange, even though they say it’s normal for their species!”

Leyli giggled, relaxing a bit now that she was more certain she wouldn’t get in trouble for her misunderstanding.  “I apologize, Princess, but I must say that ears themselves are quite odd.”  She bobbed her crest, the shifting feathers slightly revealing the open earholes on each side of her head.  “How do you keep them from getting caught on things?  Can you even control them, or are they just… bizarre bare flesh-flaps sticking out from your skull?  What is the purpose, really, of external ears??”

The walk back to the palace from the Mest was filled with light-hearted conversation.  Leyli was very interested in Human culture as well as Altean, and happily explained more details on her own species.  She went on a long tangent about her own flock, which consisted of herself, another queen named Rouvi, a tier named Vali, and a per named Saku.  There was no linna in their flock, but xey were the rarest and so it was not unexpected.  However, Leyli and Saku, who also was employed at the palace, had both noticed a linna working as a server there and were considering courting xem.  Xey had caught Saku’s eye first and to hear Leyli tell it, they’d fallen beak over tailfeathers for xem instantly. 

They arrived at the palace just in time to distract Lance from trying to give flirting advice. 

“I really am sorry about… all that,” Leyli said as they moved down a hallway.  The Chazililai palace was a veritable maze, sprawling across huge, garden-filled grounds and certain to get the Paladins lost without help (which was where Leyli and the other guides came in).  “I shouldn’t have assumed such things, and there was no need for me to pry like that in the first place.  I hope you will accept my apology.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Allura said diplomatically.  “You meant no harm, and none was done.  You were simply curious, and none of us take offense.”

“And anyway,” Hunk added, “we got to learn a lot about Chazililai society and culture – a crash-course, kind of!”

“The Mest was beautiful, too,” Shiro said.  “Thank you for showing it to us, it seems like a lovely place for such important ceremonies in your lives.”

“Isn’t it?” Leyli was off distracted again, eyes fluttering at the thought of the great structure.  “Such a wonderful place.  I wish you could see a bonding ceremony, the Mest is only more beautiful when it is filled with life.”

“And who knows,” Lance said, the teasing tone in his voice belied by the lightness in his eyes, “maybe you’ll be in there soon for another of your own!  Good luck with that linna, Leyli.  Go get ’em.”

* * *

“Man,” said Lance, leaning into Hunk as the other sat down beside him, “I never thought I would have to give the ‘we’re just friends’ speech to an alien.”

“She was creative about it, though,” said Hunk.  “You gotta give her that.  When she got it wrong at first, she kept trying new patterns.”

“Machine-learning for datemates,” muttered Pidge, getting a laugh out of Hunk and lost glances from most of the others. 

“It was quite amusing, although a bit confusing.” Allura said.  She settled herself on Hunk’s other side and easily accepted his arm draping lightly over her shoulders.  “In a different situation that could have gone badly, with a different culture or different individual.  We were fortunate that no harm was done on either side.”

“I really do think she was just curious,” Pidge said.  She already had some kind of program up on their wrist-computer.  Keith leaned over to look and she obligingly tilted the screen so he could see it better.  Shiro sat down on her other side and she squirreled up against him, letting Keith scoot closer too.  “We’re new and interesting, and she was trying to understand us in the best way she knew.”

Lance snorted.  “Honestly, though?  Look at us.  Even on Earth we’d get some funny looks, and probably a lot more questions than Leyli had.”

It was true.  They had been living and working together closely for so long that they had all sort of grown into each other, and then on top of that there was the Paladin bond.  Anyone, of any species, could easily misinterpret the closeness for romance.  And because they were _all_ close, there was anyone’s pick of who to match to who in the romantic interpretations.  None of them were correct, of course, but at least it was fun to laugh about. 

There weren’t really words, in any culture or society, to describe what Voltron was to each other.  That was okay.  They didn’t need words.  They knew.  

**Author's Note:**

> aaand this is your friendly reminder that there are currently no canon romantic relationships in voltron. 
> 
> all jokes aside? this was actually really fun to write. i wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as much as i did, and i think i have new favorite aliens. 
> 
> thanks for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> _Notes on the Chazililai_
> 
> _Birdlike, brightly-colored feathered velociraptor-looking aliens from the planet Chazila. The species is polyamorous and forms “flocks” of varying numbers._
> 
> _There are four Chazilii genders._   
>  _\- Queens are egg-bearing and are frequently the largest. translator machines refer to queens as “her.”_   
>  _\- Tiers are secondary genetic providers, smaller than queens but with larger and more colorful crests. translation calls tiers “him.”_   
>  _\- Pers are sterile and provide support in raising young (vaguely equivalent to worker bees on Earth). Translators use the pronoun “them” for pers._   
>  _\- Linnas are the rarest sex. They provide beneficial additional genetics (so young can be produced with only a queen and a tier, but it is overall best to have queen/tier/linna-produced young). “Xem” is the pronoun used by translators for linnas._
> 
> _Leyli, the Paladins’ guide, is a queen. Her flock consists of Rouvi (another queen), Vali (tier), and Saku, (per). Leyli and Saku are hoping to add a linna they met at the palace to the flock as well._


End file.
